


I can't remember

by seektheinfinite



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Fluff and Angst, Panic Attacks, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 07:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8241587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seektheinfinite/pseuds/seektheinfinite
Summary: “I’ve never not been able to remember something I’ve read before.” Mike looked up then, focusing entirely on Harvey. He let out a long shaky breath before continuing, “Harvey I think I’m losing my mind.”

 
Mikes memory is failing him and he's not dealing with it too well. Harvey is there to pick up the pieces.





	

Harvey walks past his office to see Mike pacing inside. Mike was always restless, couldn’t keep still for longer than five seconds and it made Harvey exhausted just looking at him. Coming past Donna they shared a look, a slight shrug of the shoulders and a shake of the head all that was needed to confirm that Donna was as clueless as Harvey as to why his associate was currently pacing his office and not hunched over some files somewhere like he should have been.

Reaching his office door Harvey was just about to comment on Mike’s lack of work ethic when the younger man started hitting his forehead with an open palm, and he thought he could just make out a barely audible “stupid, stupid. Why the hell can’t I remember?”

He thought about letting whatever this was in front of him play out a bit longer, curious as to what had Mike so riled up, but he thought better of it when Mike turned to face him with tears in his eyes and a look of pure panic.

Harvey wasn’t good with emotion and he was certainly not expecting this, caught off guard he did the thing that came naturally too him. He made a joke.

“Whilst I sympathise with you; I’ve wanted to hit you frequently since the day I met you. Something about your face just screams punch me, or maybe that’s just when your mouth is moving, I can’t tell anymore.

Anyway, I’d really rather you didn’t give yourself brain damage before we win this case tomorrow. As much as I hate to admit it I kind of need that super brain of yours. After that, knock yourself out, literally if you really want too.”

Harvey kept one eye on Mike as he made his way across the office, tossing the file he’d been carrying carelessly on the desk. He was waiting for the smart response that usually followed one of his jokes, but Mike said nothing. In fact, he seemed to be in a world of his own. He was certainly ‘looking’ in Harvey’s direction but he wasn’t seeing him.

“Mike?” Harvey took a tentative step towards the younger man, not entirely sure what to do in this situation; the sudden silence and stillness of the usual perpetual ball of energy was making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“Mike!?” It was almost shouted this time. It was certainly loud enough to gain the attention of Donna, not that Harvey was under any illusions that Donna wasn’t keeping a keen eye on the proceedings within his office. He saw her start to rise from her desk before he gave her the slightest shake of the head.

Not that he wouldn’t have appreciated back up to deal with, whatever the hell this was, but the way Mike was acting right now Harvey thought it best that he didn’t add another person to the mix.

“Hey Mike. You in there?” Harvey tried to add a note of levity to his voice to hide the fact that Mike was scaring the shit out of him right now.

“Harvey?” The use of his name was barely a whisper but it was enough. Mike had at least acknowledged the presence of another person in the office, and that was a step up from the previous few minutes. It did nothing to ease the tension in his chest though as Mike stood with glistening eyes, apparently unwilling or unable to utter more than the one simple word.

Harvey closed the gap between them before placing a comforting hand on Mikes upper arm, gently guiding him towards the couch. “Yeah, I’m here.”

Harvey couldn’t help but notice that Mike seemed unsteady on his feet as they took the couple of steps to the couch, he was certainly doing most of the work as he practically dragged him across the room.

Getting the younger man settled onto the couch, Harvey pressed again for some kind of answer to what had Mike freaking out like this.

“Mike? Care to tell me what the hell is going on?”

Mike didn’t respond straight away and Harvey sighed inwardly. He really didn’t want to have to play the guessing game to figure out what was going on with his associate. He was pulled from his own musings by the slight shift in weight beside him as Mike turned to face him.

“I can’t remember.”

If Harvey hadn’t been sitting so close to Mike on the couch he would have missed the barely audible mumble, as it was he was fairly certain that he must have misheard because he thought that Mike had said that he couldn’t remember. Mike didn’t not remember things, he had a god damn genius brain.

“Did you just say you can’t remember? Can’t remember what?”

“I was working on the Huntingdon case and I remember reading something in one of the case files that could win us the case but I can’t remember what it said or where I read it in the first place.”

Mike ran a trembling hand through his hair before bringing it back to his lap, focusing on it entirely as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“I’ve never not been able to remember something I’ve read before.” Mike looked up then, focusing entirely on Harvey. He let out a long shaky breath before continuing, “Harvey I think I’m losing my mind.”

Harvey laughed; he actually laughed. Which if he was honest with himself was probably not the best response to give to someone who was in the middle of having a panic attack at the thought of losing the thing that made Mike, well Mike.

Mike frowned at Harvey’s apparent lack of concern before looking back down at his lap, fingers dancing nervously.

“Mike, look at me.”

When Mike didn’t make a move to look up from his musings, Harvey took matters into his own hands and grabbed the younger man’s chin, gently lifting his head so that their eyes met.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. It’s just, Mike you’re not losing your mind. Think about it. How long have you been working on this case without a break? You’ve been wearing that suit for the last three days, and I didn’t say anything because we’re really up against it on this case but clearly you’re sleep deprived. Have you had any kind of a break in the last three days?”

“Four,” was the only response Mike gave, he at least had the decency to look ashamed.

Harvey took a breath before continuing, “well then, that would explain it. I know you have a genius brain and everything but even you can’t function at full capacity on four days of no sleep. And I doubt that you’ve been eating properly in the last four days either.”

Harvey sighed before shifting his weight to the end of the couch and gently pulling Mike down to rest on his shoulder. “How the hell have you survived this long? It really is a wonder you’re not dead already if you have to be reminded to eat and sleep. You really are a puppy.”

Mike attempted to resist, but with the panic attack now subsiding it left with it a feeling of complete and utter exhaustion. His limbs felt like lead, whilst his head still felt like it was floating.

“I can’t sleep. The case is tomorrow and we’re not ready.”

“Mike in your current state you’re not useful to anyone. Get some sleep and when you wake up you can tell me exactly where this smoking gun is buried and we’ll annihilate the other side in court.”

There was no reply from Mike aside from a slight snuffle as he buried his way deeper into Harvey’s chest.

Harvey was just about to contemplate what to do next when Donna sauntered in, giving him her patented Donna smile.

“Glad to see you’re taking good care of our puppy.”

Harvey glanced down at Mike before replying. “If you tell anyone about this I will fire you. I don’t care how much I need you, no one and I mean no one can know that I care. I have a reputation to maintain after all.”

Donna smirked before handing him the files on his desk and his alone to deal with his surprisingly heavy associate.  

**Author's Note:**

> This is not what I originally intended to write, but then my fics never end up where they started out. The idea for this came at 3am when I was having a bout of insomnia and Harvey and Mike started talking in my head. (I'm not crazy, I swear.)
> 
> I wrote this because I wanted to show that panic attacks can come in many different forms. I have read lots of fics where the character having the panic attack can't breath and is hyperventilating but this has never been the experience for me. Whenever I have a panic attack I feel dizzy and light headed, I become numb to everything else around me and generally get the feeling of shakiness. As someone once described it to me, 'it feels like you're not really here.' 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading :)


End file.
